You Think You Know...But (pt. 14)

The next day in the exclusive Beddington Fields subdivision, Ricardo was making his way up the driveway to the side entrance of the house he once called home, with all intentions of making it resting place again.  In light of the bombshell Nikki had dropped on him earlier about wanting to get back together and not to mention the fact that Tia had caught them in her bed the day before; he felt pretty confident that he would be able to regain his place as king of the castle.  Habit caused him to reach in his pocket to fish for his house keys but reality helped him remember that he had been thrown out in quite a dramatic fashion.  He smiled as he pressed the doorbell, thinking about how unreal it seemed that he no longer lived there, but that was all about to change.

He had remained confident that Nikki would eventually come to her senses and take him back.  She must have finally realized what she was giving up.  He knew that her family wouldn’t let them stay apart, because of their whole moral belief about keeping the family together at all cost.  Her parents definitely didn’t want their only grandchild to grow up without a father in the home and neither did he.  While the thought of being a good husband wasn’t one that ever really crossed his mind, the idea of being a good father was one that he took very seriously and dedicated himself to trying to be.  At the end of the day, Nikki had to realize that she was the queen of his heart and that he would choose her over any fling he may have on the side. Still, with all of these reasons that his wife should take him back running through his mind, he was not for certain that Nikki would actually welcome him home.

“What are you doing here?” was the question that greeted him when Nikki finally answered the door dressed in her Sunday best.  He looked down at his watch to confirm that it was almost time for early morning service.  Nikki seemed to be in a negative mood, especially for a woman on her way to church.

“What do you mean, what am I doing here?” Ricardo replied dumbstruck by Nikki’s attitude towards him.  He tried to remain calm, as she stood in the door blocking his entrance into the house.

“I mean what I said. What are you doing here?”  Nikki again asked stepping out of the house onto the porch locking the door behind her. She turned the knob to ensure that the door was indeed locked, and then tossed her hair to one side before she focused her full attention on the man the law still recognized as her husband.  She was disgusted by the mere sight of him and almost could not resist the urge to slap his face but she did.  Instead she stood on the top step in her three-inch heels glaring at him with eyes she hoped could pierce his selfish heart.

“Where are you going, to church?”  He asked still trying to read between the lines of her demeanor to find out how she was really feeling.  Her expression was blank, her stare was cold and fixed on him as if she could kill him, which was a far cry from the way she had stared into his eyes the day before.  He didn’t know what to think.  Her body language said that she didn’t want to be bothered and she had rolled her eyes every time that he opened his mouth.

“Yes, I’m on my way to church,” she snapped back after a moment of silence. Her voice filled with anger she continued, “Now, what do you want? Huh? I don’t have time to play games with you.  I’m on my way to get some religion before I get a bat and go upside your head.”  She tried to push pass Ricardo but he grabbed her arm. She quickly snatched it away from him and yelled, “Get your hands off me!”  Pushing him in his chest causing him to stumble backwards a few steps before catching himself.  His hands on her brought all of the anger and frustration she was holding deep inside bursting to the surface.  She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, which instantly made her roll her eyes skyward in an attempt to stop them from revealing themselves to this man, scared that he may mistake them for weakness.  

Which is exactly what Ricardo took her glossy glare for and immediately tried to use what he thought was a sign of her weakness to his advantage.  He waited until he saw the first tear make its way slowly down her cheek before he said, “Nikki baby, don’t cry.  I’m sorry. I promise I can make this all better.”

He started to put his arms around her so that he could hold her close to him but was stopped by determined arms.  Her face was filled with disgust and it was clear to see that she was appalled by his effort to console her. “Make it better!  Make it better!  How you gon’ make it better? Huh?”  Nikki asked wiping the tears that had escaped her eye and fled down her cheeks away.  She continued, “Just how are you going to make your whore having your baby better for me? Huh? How are your going to do that?”

“That girl is not pregnant, Nikki.”  Ricardo said relieved that he finally knew the root of his wife’s frustration.  He continued saying, “She only said that because she caught us making love in her bed.  What do you expect?  She knows she’s the other woman and she just hates that I chose you over her.  Look, this thing with Tia was a mistake.  I mean, I love you and I want our family to stay together. I know that. You know that and now she knows that. I don’t want to lose my family over one mistake.”

“You know, Ricardo,” Nikki started as her mind played back the events of the day before.  She had wanted to show Tia that Ricardo belonged to her and that he would be willing to disrespect her in the worse way.  She thought having sex with Ricardo in Tia’s bed would make Tia feel like as much a fool as she herself felt like when she found out that the two of them were having an affair.  Even though Ricardo fit all the characteristics of the classic male chauvinist, Nikki still loved him and thought that he loved her.  She chalked his constant infidelity to a man being a man, as she believed that all men cheated at some point in their relationship. Still Ricardo had crossed the line this time, and she had made up in her mind that there was no more hope for their relationship.  She sighed before saying,  “I thought that too. You know, I thought this whore is just mad because I beat her at her own game, so now she’s trying to pull the old ‘I’m pregnant’ card.  But then this tramp one upped me and showed up on my front steps with an ultrasound of her twelve week old fetus.”

“I don’t care what kind of ultrasound she had. She’s not pregnant and if she is it ain’t mine.” Ricardo replied both in shock and denial.  He continued, “Why would she come over here and show you before showing me?  I can’t believe you falling for that bullshit.  She’s lying, Nikki, plain and simple.”

“Whatever Ricardo,” Nikki said tired of her exchanged with him.  She had made up her mind that their marriage was truly over and nothing he could say would change it, but still some small part of her wanted his logic to be true. She asked, “So, did you sleep with her raw?”

“Huh?” he replied caught off guard by her question.

“Did you use a condom?”  She asked praying that he said yes since he was so strong in his denial of the possibility that she could be pregnant with his child.

“What does that have to do with anything?” he replied.

His response told her everything she needed to know about whether Tia was carrying his child or not.  Her heart sank to the pit of her stomach as she started to tell him what she thought of him and the predicament he had placed them both in shouting, “Everything! It’s bad enough that you were cheating on me but you don’t have enough decency to use protection.  The baby is bad but it’s not even the worst!  You out laying up and not using protection like your life is the only one in jeopardy!  You don’t know if she was sleeping with someone else or who she’s slept with before.  Just because you trust that whore enough to play with your own life doesn’t mean I do.  Does she have any STDs? What’s her HIV status? Huh? You don’t know.  Do you?  All you know is she doesn’t look like she has anything.  Well, let me tell you something Mr. Dumb-Ass, at least one guy that she’s had sex with did have AIDS and told her about it on his deathbed.  Now, you’ve been running up in her with no protection putting my life in danger with no concern over what will happen to our daughter if something happens to us.  This is over!”  

Nikki’s revelation of Tia’s potential HIV status caused a fear in Ricardo that he had never known.   It hadn’t ever crossed his mind to ask Tia about past lovers or her HIV status, which in hindsight should have been his first question.  He was horrified knowing that someone he had been intimate with had been intimate with someone who had died from AIDS.  As his fury grew, he could suddenly understand Nikki’s frustration and tried to offer some explanation saying,  

“Nikki, I’m sure-“

“You ain’t sure of shit! I’m tired of your excuses and I’m tired of your lies.  I don’t want anything else to do with you.  To think that I was in love with someone who not only didn’t love me, he didn’t love himself enough to protect himself.”  Nikki said before making her way down the stairs with Ricardo fast on her heels, but she didn’t stop.  She could hear him repeatedly calling her name but she didn’t stop.  She was racing against the tears that wanted to express themselves on her face.  She made it to her car but Ricardo was able to catch her and wrap his arms around her from behind in an attempt to keep her there with him just awhile longer.  Nikki struggled to free herself from his grasp turning in his arms so that she could push him away one last time before getting into her car, leaving him outside banging on her windows begging her not to drive off but she did.

She had made up the entire story about one of Tia’s ex-lovers having died of AIDS but it was the only way that she felt she could get through to Ricardo just what kind of danger he had placed them both in.  What if Tia were HIV positive?  He could have very well made their daughter an orphan, all for the sake of a bootie call.  Since she didn’t know Tia’s status she had planned to make an appointment to check on her own first thing in the morning.  She had been faithful to this man since the first time she laid down with him and had waited until they were married to actually stop using condoms and even though she had taken every precaution to keep herself safe, her husband was out playing Russian roulette with both their lives.

Nikki drove into the parking lot of the church that she had gone to since before she could remember but couldn’t find the strength to get out of the car.  She couldn’t stop herself from crying long enough to go in and face the members of the congregation.  She knew her parents would be inside, as well as, other members of her family and she didn’t feel like having their pity.  She knew her brother would able to see through her facade even if she were able to pull it together long enough to make it inside the church.  Not wanting her daughter, who had gone to church earlier with her parents, to see her in such a fragile state so she turned her car around and left the parking lot of the church.  She could see her brother coming out of the front door of the church as she pulled away, but the idea of stopping never crossed her mind.

She drove around for quite sometime with no idea of just where she should go. She didn’t want to go home for fear that Ricardo may still be waiting there for her to return.  She didn’t have any girlfriends that she trusted enough to share her pain with.  Besides the last thing she needed was word spreading around town about how upset she was over what Ricardo had done to her.  She was going to have a hard enough time keeping her head held high after word of Tia’s pregnancy made the rounds about town.  No, she needed somewhere she could be alone with her thoughts and frustrations, so the last place she would go during any other day of the week became the first place she would go on a Sunday.  She went to the salon.

She made sure to park her car in back parking lot, just in case someone drove by looking for her.  She then walked around to the front entrance and stared at the name beautifully painted across the display window of the salon. “Exclusive Styles,” it read in beautiful Old English script.  She ran her hand down the length of the logo without actually touching the glass with her fingers for fear of smearing it before their big ‘Grand Opening’ next week.   She used her key to let herself in and quickly found comfort on one of the oversized sofas, where she lie down and cried her sorrow into one of the hand towels undoubtedly left behind by one of the stylists yesterday.  She cried out loud letting out all of the anguish she had bottled up inside.  She sat up, screaming out her frustrations as she flung the towel across the room and pushed magazines off of the large coffee table in front of her before calming down to a semi-audible whimper.

Unbeknownst to her, she wasn’t alone and her fit of rage had brought an unexpected worker from the back of the salon.  Sterling, brother to Robin, emerged from what would serve as an office, to find a very distraught Nikki.  He could see her embarrassment at him having found her so upset.  He had known Nikki since she was twelve and had never seen her look as upset as she did today.  He was afraid to say anything because he didn’t want to cause her any more shame or embarrassment but he was too late.  

Using her hands to shield her face, she asked him “What are you doing?”

“Velle asked me to hook up the computer network here in the store. He wanted to get it done before you guys opened and today is the only day that I could do it so…here I am. What about you? What are you doing here?”  He said as he went over and sat down beside Nikki on the sofa. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him in an effort to console her, which caused her to instantly start crying.  She didn’t know how or why but the comfort that she felt in Sterling’s arms was what she needed. So they settled back in that plush leather sofa so that Nikki could cry and Sterling could stroke her hair giving her the comfort she needed to relieve her broken heart.  Nikki soon drifted off to sleep in the serenity of his embrace.  It was the most peaceful way that Nikki had spent a Sunday afternoon in long time.