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You Think You Know...But (pt. 12)Tia wasn’t sure exactly how to run her business, anymore. She had given full responsibility of everything from payroll to ordering to scheduling to Monique. She was severely understaffed and clients were literally walking out of the shop because they were tired of waiting for hours to be seen, which amounted to her losing money. Not to mention that her top stylists had taken a huge chunk of her business with them when they walked out on her. Her shipment of supplies hadn’t arrived on Thursday because she hadn’t ordered them by 11am on Tuesday. She hadn’t made the deposit before 2 o’clock on Wednesday, which meant that some of her checks might not be covered. She had money in her other accounts to cover any oversight that she may have overlooked but she had forgotten to call Greg and have him code her account for any such occurrence. It was a Saturday and she had to close her shop two hours early because she didn’t have any customers. She looked across the parking lot, where she could see the cars belonging to her former employees parked in front of her rival’s new salon. She couldn’t believe how easily they had deserted her, especially after she had given Monique and Mark their start. She had even saved Will from being out of job when the salon he had been working for had gone bankrupt and left the stylist literally picking their tools up off the sidewalk. She’d given them all a place to earn a living while building their clientele and this was how they repaid her. By walking out without so much as a two-weeks notice to go work for her archenemy in a salon in the same damn shopping center. Well, they’d be back and she was sure of that. Once Nikki’s inexperience ran the new salon into the ground, they’d all come crawling back begging her for a job and she could hardly wait. She fully intended to take them back but for higher booth rent, of course. Her personal life wasn’t any better. She couldn’t believe that she had agreed to let Ricardo move in with her when his wife was planning to sue her for the breakdown of their marriage. Ricardo was constantly talking about all of the money he would get from his wife in the divorce, but the more Tia thought about it the less sense it made. She couldn’t figure out why Nikki would divorce Ricardo if she’d have to pay him alimony. She was concerned that his living with her would only build a stronger case for a divorce in Nikki’s favor and help make a stronger case for the Alienation of Affection suit against her. Not to mention the fact that Nikki had taken everything from him, including his car and she wanted that disgusting pile of junk he was presently calling a car removed from her driveway. To top it all off, she even had to start giving him money to hold him over until his payday. Living with Ricardo was an extreme change from sneaking around with him behind Nikki’s back. When they were having an affair undercover, everything was exciting and he was so romantic, surprising her with weekend getaways, expensive dinners and flowers for no reason. He was so loving and attentive, not wanting her to lift a finger while he was around her. He talked about how things would be so much better if he could just get away from Nikki and then he could shower her with all of his love and affection for the whole world to see. He would even talk about how he wished he had met her before he knew Nikki existed, that way it would be them that were married instead of he and Nikki. If it weren’t for his daughter, he said, he would have left Nikki years ago. Now that he was actually living with her, it was an entirely different story. For one, he didn’t want to go out in public now that they could do so without fear of his wife catching them. He would come home and expect her to have dinner ready or for her to be in the kitchen cooking it. He whined and complained about Nikki putting him out nonstop and when he wasn’t complaining about her, he was calling her on the phone and going into the other room to carry out private conversations with her. The biggest shock to Tia came when she found out that Nikki really was in control of the purse strings in their relationship. Without her, he didn’t really have a dime to his name. His lovin’ was good but by no means was it good enough for her to have to pay his way like she was his mother and not his girlfriend. But Tia didn’t want to be one of “those” women, you know, the ones who leave a man when he’s down. She loved him and saw the potential he possessed so she was willing to wade these troubled waters to allow him to reach his destiny of greatness. So she decided to float him money to pay for his lawyer or so he could just have money in his pockets in general. She made arrangements to have his piece of junk car towed and had already taken him to several dealerships to look for a more suitable vehicle for him. She cooked dinner every night and awakened early each morning to make sure he had a hot breakfast. And there was no limit to the amount of lovin’ she would supply the man with, whether it was pleasurable for her or not. Tia did everything that she felt a “good” woman should do to keep her man happy. Everything she knew a self-centered woman like Nikki wouldn’t dare to do. Ricardo was a strong man and that meant that he needed an even stronger woman, behind him keeping him strong and taking care of all the needs that he may have overlooked as a man with purpose. Tia pulled into her driveway somewhat surprised to find what looked like Nikki’s car parked along the street in front of her house. She fought back the queasy feeling building in the pit of her belly while dismissing the thoughts of some wrong doings going on in her home. She grew nervously anxious as she pulled her house keys from her purse and made her way to her front door. She was just about to unlock her front door when something told her to go in through the patio door that was attached to her bedroom. Again anxiety built up in her, causing her to become a little short of breath and making her palms sweat. She rounded the side of the house and quietly opened the gate that lead to the back of the house. She became quickly aware of the faint sound of moaning as she made her way toward her patio door, which she could tell was open, as she got closer to it. She hurried her steps as she could hear the moans turn to screams of pleasure. Her chest tightened as she grabbed the handle of the patio door and pushed it completely open. Her heart couldn’t believe her eyes as she stood in the door watching Ricardo making love to his wife…in her bed. Words have no way of describing the different levels of emotions that ran through Tia at that moment. For a second, she was speechless, choked by the tears fighting their way to the surface but rage immediately took over causing her to demand, “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!”
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But please let me know if it is confusing. Where it's confusing. Are the characters and storyline believable? Does the dialog read like something you would hear or even say in real life? Are the characters descriptive enough? I try to describe the personality of the characters but leave the physical description vague enough that the reader can draw his or her own visual of what the character would look like.
Please send me a message or leave me a comment with your critique, because as much as I love to hear that you liked a certain part, I really need to know what you didn't like or don't believe so I can decide if I should be trying to pursue a career as a writer.
Thanks
MsBooButter