“I can’t stay. I just stopped by just to drop off these clothes that Aunt Simone sent Justine and to let you know that I won’t be back for a couple of weeks after I leave.” Justice said as he handed Robin two shopping bags of clothing. Robin hadn’t seen Justice since his initial visit on Friday when he’d picked Justine up for a play date with some of her little cousins. He had been so anxious to surprise Nikki with the beautiful diamond tennis bracelet that Robin had helped him pick out, that it seemed odd that he’d be standing by the front door looking like someone had shot his dog two days later. He wasn’t even making eye contact with her and it was beyond obvious that his thoughts were a million miles away. He came into the house far enough to close the door behind him but just lingered in front of the door as though he couldn’t wait to leave, which was completely out of character for him. “I’ve really got to buckle down…finals are around the corner…and they’ve been giving me more assignments at work, which is great…cushioning my resume, you know,” he said sounding as if he were trying to convince himself more than anyone else.
Robin had known Justice long enough to know that he was hiding something so she said, “I’m glad you are focusing on work and school but what’s the really going on? Did you and Nikki have a fight?” The look on his face pretty much gave her the answer. He still couldn’t look her in the face and it looked as if he would bolt from the house at any moment. He looked as though he couldn’t have smiled if someone paid him to. He just shook his head as if that was the only sign he could muster in response to her question. Robin motioned for Justice to come join her on the couch by patting an empty spot on the sofa beside her. “Come tell mama about it,” she said as she waved him over to coax him to sit down. She could see the conflict between his logical mind and emotional frustration at war within him as he rocked back and forth on the landing before hesitantly making his way over to have a seat.
He was broken and after him picking up the pieces of her relationship with Jay to help put her life back together, Robin felt it her duty to now do the same for him. She patted his hand and said, “What happened? She didn’t like the bracelet.”
“No,” Justice sighed as he realized that Robin was probably the one person he could talk to about his breakup with Nikki, who wouldn’t hold it against him. He continued and as he did he could feel a weight start to lift off his chest, “I didn’t even get a chance to give it to her.”
“Why not?”
“Well, I broke it off before I could do it.”
“What? Justice, why would you do that? You love Nikki.”
“I know but…but now’s just not a good time.”
“Bullshit! Something happened. Was she still messing with Rico or something?”
“No, it wasn’t anything like that. It just wasn’t the right time Robin, that’s all. I really love Nikki but I’ve got way too much baggage that I don’t think she’d understand. Plus, her stuck up ass family wouldn’t allow us to be together anyway. They rather she be with someone like Ricardo’s because he got money and shit. All, I got is a maxed out credit card and a shit load of student loans.”
“First of all, Rico’s broke ass ain’t got shit but what Nikki’s connections can afford him. Second, Nikki is a grown ass woman. Her family can’t dictate whom she can or can’t date. Third, you ain’t got no baggage. You’re single, employed and most importantly straight, so you fit the criteria for eighty percent of the single women in America and you don’t have any kids so that boosts you up to like ninety percent.” Justice just hunched his shoulders as he listened to Robin talk. He wanted to say “how do we know I don’t have any kids” but he didn’t have to because before he could finish his thought Robin said, “Holy shit, is this about Justine? Were you afraid that Nikki would find out about the possibility that you could be Justine’s father and break it off first?”
“I don’t know what I thought. I just didn’t want to take that chance. Plus, what if Jay found out, then Aunt Simone and Uncle Reece…I don’t know how they would react. I mean that’s all the family that I have left and…what would that do for you and Justine? What would your parents say? God, I’d probably have to fight Sterling and Ross. It’d just cause more problems than I think either of us could handle and I don’t think Nikki could handle any more scandal right now.”
Robin could see his pain singed deeply into his face. He was burdened by guilt, regret and obligation to a laundry list of people that didn’t include himself. Her part in his pain went without saying, so she felt obligated to make it better. Justice had kept their secret in order to ensure that her life with Jay was a happy one without ever asking for anything in return other than the opportunity to be the best uncle a little girl could have, so that Jay could be the best father. So now, that his peace of mind depended on knowing the truth about the results of something that she had initiated almost four years earlier that seemed to ruin his life, she felt it was now her turn to initiate something that could possibly repair the problem her quest for revenge had created.
“What time are you leaving today?” she asked.
“I don’t know, probably when I leave here.”
“Well, how about you stay awhile longer and come go somewhere with me. I think it’s time that we found out the truth. It’s not fair to either of us to keep carrying around this secret. You’ve sacrificed enough.”
“No, I don’t want to mess-“
“Don’t worry about that. If it turns out that you’re my baby’s daddy then I’ll just be the big fat ho that raped.” She smiled trying to lighten the mood with a joke. She had a friend who worked in the lab at the hospital who owed her a favor and there was no time better to call it in.
Justice just nodded his head in agreement; tired of talking about the things that bothered him most. He had said all that the man in him would allow him to say about his feelings so he just sat quietly thinking and longing for the woman he could no longer have. He wondered if she were thinking about him too and if she were as miserable as he were. Justice wasn’t sure if it were the heartache or the need to know but he had never been more ready to find out if the child he’d been calling his niece was actually his daughter.
About a week later, Robin and Monique made an adult play date with Nikki to see just where she had been hiding for the past week. She had missed her appointment with Will, without so much a call to cancel, which was unheard of. Nikki was not a girl who missed any kind of appointment to pamper herself. Not to mention that she had become a sort of fixture in the salon on Saturdays; showing up every week after five with a bottle of wine and a new story to tell until well after close. It had become a ritual that they all looked forward to and Nikki had become like one of the girls.
So, two cousins stood on her doorstep in the rain under an umbrella, waiting for a woman they never thought that they would call a friend. When Nikki finally cautiously opened her front door she looked like death warmed over. She was wearing a t-shirt that Robin immediately recognized at Justice’s, a pair of spandex tights and bright orange spa footies on her feet. Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail and the fly aways made it look as if she had been lying in bed all day. Her puffy red eyes told just how much she’d been crying. It was more than evident that Monique and Robin had arrived right on time.
Robin made a pot of hot water for tea while Monique found a hair brush for in her purse so that she could attempt to attend to the mess that was Nikki’s hair. Neither of them had ever seen Nikki look anything other than beautiful, but heartache had beaten the crap out of her with the ugly stick today and it was the worst version of Nikki that either of them could ever remember seeing. “I’ve got to do something with this hair, Ms. Lady. Sit on the floor and I’ll grease your scalp,” Monique said as she placed some pillows on the floor to cushion Nikki’s behind.
Nikki was uncertain saying, “I don’t know.”
“Come on,” Monique coaxed, “It’ll make you feel better. I’ll grease your scalp, brush your hair and then we can wash it out. Heaven knows; brushing your hair is good for the soul. Ask Robin. I used to brush her hair all the time.” Nikki was willing to try anything that might ease her pain so she slid off her leather sofa onto the stack of accent pillows that Monique had fashioned into a comfy little nook. Monique sat on the sofa, placing her legs on either side of Nikki for better access to her head then gently started brushing her hair.
Robin finally made her way in the room carrying a tray filled with a teapot of water, chamomile tea bags, lemon slices and honey. She placed the tray on the table before saying, “Girl, I’m in love with that kitchen. Hmmm, I see Mo has the brush out. Soothing the soul.”
“What is that about? Soothing the soul.” Nikki asked having heard the same turn of phrase twice in the last five minutes.
“It’s just some B.S. that Mo came up with as an excuse to do your hair when she thinks it looks like crap.” Robin giggled as she took a seat on the floor close to Nikki. She propped herself up on some extra pillows that were lying on the floor so that she could listen to Nikki spill the tea about just what was going on with her. She decided that she’d get the conversation started by saying, “Okay lady, spill it. You haven’t returned any of our calls, you missed your appointment and you look a hot mess.”
“I’ve just had a lot on my plate with work-“ Nikki started, not sure if she wanted to let the girls in on her pain.
“Okay, let me stop you right there,” Robin interrupted before Nikki could try to layer start feeding them a fork full of bull crap. She continued, “I already talked to Justice and I been knew that the two of your were messing around. I also know that the two of you broke up. So let’s start for there.”
“How did you know we were dating?” Nikki asked.
“Yeah,” Monique interrupted as she had apparently been completely in the dark on the subject. She continued, “I didn’t know you two were dating. I didn’t know Justice was seeing anybody and I just thought that you were seeing Rico again and just didn’t want anyone to know about it.”
“Mo, you’re so slow sometimes,” Robin rolled her eyes before she continued, “They’ve been seeing each other just as long as you’ve been seeing Velle and please, Justice tells me everything. I’ve been knowing about you guys since you first sleep together on your birthday.”
“Well then did he tell you why he really broke things off because I don’t buy that shit about him needing to concentrate on school and work? I think he is seeing someone else. Why do I always get the cheaters?” Nikki asked as her frustration became evident. She had cried for a week straight so the chance of that happening was out of the question. She was sure her tear ducts were bone dry and beside she didn’t want anyone else to see her crying. She had made a fool of herself by showing her vulnerable side to Justice and he had still walked out of her just like all the men before him.
Robin had promised that she wouldn’t say anything to Nikki about what she and he had talked about but the meddlesome side of her was getting the better of her. She didn’t want Nikki to think that Justice was cheating on her and that was the reason he wanted to end things, but she didn’t know if it were her place to really tell Nikki why he couldn’t continue their relationship. She decided to sacrifice her own comfort in order to ensure that Justice have a chance of for contentment. “Nikki, Justice wouldn’t cheat on you. He’s not an asshole like his cousin,” Robin replied as she stalled for time to decide whether she should cross the line and tell their secret to someone she considered a new friend.
“Well, why would he do this to me then? I thought we were so happy together. I mean, we had our moments like any other couple but we always worked it out. I just don’t understand. We talked earlier and I couldn’t get any inkling that he was unhappy or was even thinking of breaking things off. I’ve been going over that day over and over in my head and I don’t know what could have happened to make him not want to be with him any more. I know, you don’t think he would be cheating but he had to be seeing someone else.” Nikki said, more thinking aloud than talking to anyone.
“He broke things off because he was afraid that you were gonna find out that he could be Justine’s father.” Robin blurted out after hearing Nikki almost insist that Justice had been unfaithful.
“What?!” Monique exclaimed as she heard her cousin admit what she had long suspected.
“Pfftt,” Nikki shrugged, “I already knew about that.”
“What do you mean you already knew?” Robin asked.
“I overheard him talking to Velle about it when you were pregnant. They didn’t know I was in the other room but yeah I knew that for awhile now.” Nikki responded.
“Does Ricardo know?” Robin asked, scared that too many people knew her secret for it to remain that way much longer. She knew Ricardo would tell Jay the first time it served a purpose for him.
“No, Ricardo can’t hold water and I knew he’d go running to tell Jay the first chance he got. Besides Justice sounded so upset when he was telling Velle that I couldn’t tell anyone else. Why didn’t he just tell me instead of breaking things off with me? He didn’t think that I could keep a secret or something.” Nikki said, starting to feel better that maybe things hadn’t ended because Justice was cheating on her.
“Well, we took a DNA test so that we can find out for sure. He’s so worried about what is family will think if they find out that we slept together and he may be my baby’s father. Ever since his parents died he’s felt indebted to his aunt and uncle, but he especially is worried about what will happen between him and Jay. That bond would definitely be broken and he doesn’t know how he’d be able to face him if he found out. He also was worried about if all of this came out and your family found out. He thought that you’d be humiliated and he wanted to avoid that. He’s willing to sacrifice his love for you to keep his everyone else’s happiness in tact. I think it’s pretty damn poetic.”
“Fuck poetry.” Nikki said as she crossed her arms arm and kicked her feet. She continued, “I want my man back. Shit, I don’t care about any of that other mess. I hope he’s not Justine’s father but I don’t care if he is. I’d still love him and I’d be right there by his side helping him get through any and every thing that could happen. I’m going to call him.”
“You can’t call him! I told him that I wouldn’t say anything. Just let me talk to him again.” Robin exclaimed, already nervous that she had even admitted their secret to anyone other than Justice.
“Okay,” Nikki said disappointedly, “It’s not like he’s returning my call anyway.”
Robin laughed before she admitted, “No, but he’s been calling me everyday asking if me if I’ve seen you or talked to you. If I have to listen to one more Nikki story I think I’m gonna throw up.”
“Wait! What the Hell? I can’t believe I’m the only one who’s been in the dark about this. How did you end up sleeping with Justice?” Monique asked unable to keep up with all of the new information that was being discussed in front of her.
“Mo, you are so slow,” Nikki said while rolling her eyes. She looked at Robin with a new set of eyes, as she had just opened the gate that now allowed Nikki to ask a question that she’d been itching to ask. She cocked her head to the side and asked, “Yes, just how did you end up in bed with Justice?”
