Juan
It is morning time and I spent the night at Craig’s in the guest room, he wanted me to sleep with him in the bed and I refused. I love him and to be honest I really want us to make love and rekindle what we use to have. Now, I know this is wrong and I can’t let this happen, so I have set boundaries and I refuse to cross the boundaries. I always hear people saying it is not a sin to look, but let me tell you a look can take your mind places you ought not to go. If I had crawled up in that bed last night more than likely something would have happened and I just can’t let that happen. I hear Craig in the room and I swear he is talking to someone. I get up and walk into his bedroom and when I open the door, I go what the fuck. His ass is laid up in his bed with some little young sissy. He says Juan this is Ezekiel, “oh hell no!” I snap and I lose it and I about to give him that ass whipping that I have on hold.
I walk over to the bed and I snatch that young fool right out of the bed. His feet never touched the floor and throw his ass across the floor. I grab Craig and do the same, Ezekiel takes off running right out of the house with his pants in his hands. I throw Craig down the steps and then I picked his limp ass and threw him out of the house in all of his glory. I was so fucking mad, how he could disrespect his house like this is beyond me. I am not sure if I was jealous or just mad, but what I do know is I cleaned house and I would do it again. A few minutes later the door bell rings and I scream who the fuck is it. I open the door and it is Craig standing outside in the morning dew butter ball naked. I start laughing; I just threw him out of his own house. I forgot I was not in my own house. I tell Craig to get dressed because we need to talk.
Craig comes down and once again apologizes and tells me that I just don’t understand. That he has been going through a lot and he has not been himself in a while. What is going on Craig, I thought when you answered your call to ministry that all of this stuff was over for you. He starts crying and I hold him and tell him to talk to me.
Craig
“It was over until I started talking to the bishop about assigning me to a church. Yes, I got a new church but at a cost. My Bishop turned me out. We all know that church is politics, well I was a Pastor of a very small church in the sticks and my Bishop told me if I would do him some favors he would do me some favors. I was like what the fuck and then I thought about what he was saying. So, I asked what kind of favors and he said “what do you think?” I told him I had no clue. He then grabbed his dick and I said “oh, those kind of favors.” He said “hell yeah,” well to make a long story short, the Bishop turned me out, he sucked my dick and I fu*ked him and I got a bigger church in the city. Damn shame what you got to do to get ahead in the church.
Well, about a year ago I went to my pastor in confidence, and poured out my heart to him. I confessed that I go out and pick up young homo thugs in a popular area here in Atlanta. I told him that the addiction was getting out of control. I was telling my wife that I was going out of town, and really staying in hotels for weeks, with random street whores. I have been toped and bottomed. I only picked up the ones with the juiciest butts and the biggest dicks. I spent thousands of dollars doing this. My wife didn't have a clue. She almost found out when she found poop stains on the front of my boxers one time. Everything came to a head when I started going raw on them.
One brother I used to pick up on the strip all the time disappeared off the scene for awhile. I found out that he was sick and he died, I actually had his funeral at the church. That really scared me and I went and got tested. I decided to try to stop, and that's why I went to my Bishop. We cried together about it and he said he would counsel me to help me through this. He would ask for details about what I did when I had sex with the men. On one occasion while I was telling him about this, he had a visible erection. His breathing got heavier, and I got turned on by that. I went into more details, and his eyes glazed over, and his mouth hung open. I got up to hug him and felt his erection on my thigh. I held the hug a little longer than usual, and let him feel my erection also. I looked in his eyes and saw consent there.
Bishop pushed my head down and I knew what he wanted me to do. I got on my knees and pulled his piece out. He already had precum dripping out. I licked it off and gave him head. That started a sick relationship between us. I didn't have to explain why we were always together to my wife. I would have sex with him in his study sometimes. I don't know why nobody ever smelled that "musty booty" smell. I have to admit that he had a beautiful piece. Long, thick with a fat head. I have even given him "the Lewinsky" under his desk while someone was in the room before. After a while he started hinting that he wanted me to do his other pastor friends also. When I refused, he said that he would destroy me and tell my wife, ruin my name in the public eye.
I believed him, because he has a lot of influence here, and I have seen him do some underhanded stuff to make things go his way. It wouldn't have done me any good to try to oust him, because no one would believe me. He had me doing all kinds of degrading things with his friends, who also have big churches. I have been urinated on, made to lick feet, almost had my anus torn in half, and had to give head till my jawbone was almost unhinged. They have these "boy’s night out" events, and pass me around the room. They drink and pop pills like they are just regular folks. I am not talking street people but, I am talking other Bishops and Pastors. I'm getting tired of this, I'm depressed and I have lost faith in the church. They all wear masks. They are not who folks think they are. They are like pimps and the congregations are their whores.
All they ever talk about is how much money they are getting, they discuss the right keywords to make folks get emotional to come off of the money. They disgust me. I got so much dirt on these dudes, but I can't tell anyone without outing myself. I cannot lose my family, or the respect the church has for me. I have lost so much weight, I think Kara thinks I have AIDS or something because we have not had sex since we had the twins. My mother thinks I'm on drugs, I have circles under my eyes, and I cry in the closet all the time. Juan, all I want to do is end my life and I don't know how. Man it feels good to actually tell someone what I am going through; I know this doesn’t solve the problem, but thanks for just being a friend.”
Juan
I am standing their holding Craig and crying like a two year old who just dropped his last cookie on the ground. Just then I look up at Craig and I lock lips, I grab his ass and pull him deep into me. Our erections are playing tag through our pants as we grind. I ask myself what am I doing, I know it is wrong but I want to be his healer and take away his pain. Crag gets down on his knees and unzips my pants, just then I have an epiphany. I felt like I was the nasty ass Bishop and I could not let him do that. I took him by the hands and pulled him off the floor and stood there with him rocking in my arms.
To Be Continued…
Malek AKA MA
