MOTIVES EPILOGUE

MOTIVES EPILOGUE

Beverly

It had been awhile since i been to Dallas. I had left a long time ago with no intentions of coming back, but due to unfortunate circumstances, here i was. About a week ago I received a phone call from my Uncle Jerry informing me that my father, who I really didnt know, had passed away. When my Jerry asked if i was coming to the funeral, my first response was HELL NO! Why would I want to pay my respects to a man that was never there for me.

I remember the first and last time that I saw him. It was my 5th birthday, but because my mama was living off of government assistance, I didnt have a big party or any presents. I doubt if I would have even if we did have money. For some reason my mama blamed me for my sperm donor not wanting to be with her. Anyways I was sitting in the living room watching cartoons, when the doorbell rang. Usually my mama would scream for me to get it, but this time she ran to the door herself. When she opened the door, a tall bald man, who I later found out was my father, walked in completely ignoring my mother's presence. He came to where i was sitting and got really close to my face and just stared at me like he was looking for something. After awhile of staring at me, he turned to my mother and said, "She doesnt look anything like me." He then walked out of the door ignoring my mama's pleas to stay and never turned back. My mother fell to the floor crying and when i tried to console her she pushed me away and told me that it was all of my fault. I have never forgotten that day. That was the day that i began hating my mother and men.

My Uncle Jerry was my mother's older brother and the only one who sincerely loved and cared about me. After hearing my response about not attending my father's funeral, he explained to me that going would give me the closure that i needed. I debated for awhile and I eventually caved in. My uncle gave me the details on where the funeral would be held and when. At that time I was living with my husband, Charles, and step-daughter, Denasia, and my daughter Renee. Denasia at the time was 16 years old and the product of an affair my husband had when we first got married. He paid his mistress to give up her parental rights and made me adopt the little girl. I secretly resented the little girl, but I never told Charles that. See my husband was a control freak and everything was either his way or the highway. I stayed with him because I had no where else to go and when i left Dallas I vowed that i would never return regardless of the circumstances.

Well hear I was, despite what i said, in Dallas ready to put to rest my father and the resentment that i had for him. Charles decided to say in San Antonio with Denasia and Renee because he had too much "work" to do. I knew he was lying, but i didnt dare question him. Uncle Jerry had arranged for his daughter, Jerica, to meet me at the airport and to take me to a nearby hotel. Jerica was a nice girl but we didnt really know each other so we've never really talked despite the fact that we were the same age. We never had a close relationship before and i wasnt about to try to make one now, so when we met up at the airport, I said hello and got in her car so she could take me to the hotel. We remained silent throughout the entire ride and when she pulled up to the my hotel, I said goodbye and jumped out of the car. I checked myself in and went straight to my room to take my nap. The funeral was being held later that day, so I only slept for about two hours. When I got up, I got my clothes together and got in the shower. The plan was for my uncle to pick me up and take me to the funeral. By the time i finished getting dressed, I received a phone call from him letting me know that he was downstairs waiting for me.

We pulled up to the funeral home about ten minutes before the service was to begin. When we walked through the doors there was a lady sitting in the back of the church who got up and gave my uncle a hug once she saw him. Uncle Jerry introduced her as Bianca.

"Did you tell her yet?" Bianca asked my Uncle Jerry.

"No. I wanted to give her time before I laid that kind of information on her." Uncle Jerry replied.

I knew they were talking about me and I must admit that I was curious to know what it was they were talking about, but I didnt ask any questions. My thoughts were consumed with seeing my dad in a coffin. My uncle escorted my to the front of the church where the body was laying. He knew that I was nervous, so he held my hand during the entire walk. I dont know why i was nervous. It wasnt like I was sad or grieving, hell i didnt even know the man. When we got up to the front, I looked down into the casket and saw how peaceful my daddy looked. That immediately enraged me. My mother made my life a living hell until she died because of him, and here he was with a satisfied look on his face as if life had been good to him. I snatched my hand away from my uncle's grip and stormed out of the church. When I made it outside, tears started pouring from my eyes. All of the emotions that I had been holding on to all of these years ranging from hatred to sadness started coming out all at once. My uncle came out behind me and rocked me until I couldnt cry anymore. He understood what I was going through and he was letting me know that I was not alone. When I couldnt cry anymore about my father, I started crying on my present situation with my husband and his daughter. I couldnt believe how fucked my life was. That very moment is when I decided that i was going to take my life back and do something with it.

I had finally stopped crying when my uncle said, "I have something that I need to tell you."

"What is it?" I asked him.

"The real reason I wanted you to come back to Dallas is because there is somebody you need to meet."

"Who?"

"Your sister."

And that is how I found out that I had a sister.

Janet, at the time, was unhappily married to Darren and pregnate with twins. We both saw how miserable the other was and vowed to help one another out. She helped me to hire a prostitute, who had nothing to lose, to kill my husband and make it look like a deadly affair. The day after my husband's funeral, me and the girls moved to Houston. Our initial plan for Darren was for me to seduce him when he came to the Htown and kill him claiming self-defense, but all of that changed once we found out that him and Denasia was screwing around. I figured lets kill two birds with one bullet. Janet knew that her son, Michael, was bi-sexual, and we decided to pair him and Denasia together. It was Janet's idea for me to poke holes in all of Darren's condoms, so that he could impregnate Denasia. Michael was supposed to find out about it and go crazy killing Darren and Denasia. Things didnt exactly go the way we planned, but the results was what we were looking for. I got rid of the constant reminder of Charles' infidelities and Janet got rid Darren and his cheating ways. The insurance money was just a bonus .

Here I am now in New York and how ironic is that the same way me and Janet was brought together is the same way we are torn apart, a funeral. Unfortunately it was Janet's funeral.