RIPPED & READY (PART 27)

RIPPED & READY (PART XXVII)

The following morning, moms sent me to the store to pick a few items for breakfast.  Antwon asked if he could ride along and I didn't want him to, however, you can't be dogging family like that -- especially since he was here visiting from out of town.  I reluctantly agreed to let him come along for the ride.  My mama gave me the eye of approval as we were passing her, headed out the front door.

"Marco, I know you are probably uncomfortable hanging around with me," Antwon says. 

I was too ashamed to admit it, so I lied. "Naw, dude, it ain't that it’s just that....well....look at what you got on dude.  I mean to each his own, but it’s hard enough being a black man, let alone being a gay one and here you are walking around, dressing damn near like a female," I said. 

Now the last part of my statement contradicted the first part of it and, hell, I should've just told him the truth.  The look on his face let me know that I had probably hurt his feelings.  I didn't mean too, but damn, I knew who I was but I just didn't want any attention drawn to help in the clarification of that truth.  Shit, here my cousin is looking like Blane Edwards and Antwon (ironic huh) Maryweather from that show "In Living Color".  

Hated it!  

We had driven for a couple of minutes in silence.  He never really looked at me after I had made that comment; he just looked out the window, humming along to the new tune out by Whitney Houston, called "I Didn't Know My Own Strength".  It was one of those ah-ha!-moments.  I was so concerned about what others thought; I was hiding behind my masculinity, using it as a security blanket to blend in. 

My cousin, on the other hand, was living his life out loud, unafraid to be himself, a self that was brilliantly colorful and lively.  I didn't want someone judging me and yet, I was judging him.  It made me tear up a little bit because, everyone deserved to be respected and loved -- everyone. 

I reached over, and put my hand onto the top of the one he had resting on the seat.  "Hey, Antwon, I'm sorry about what I said.  It's just a little hard for me.  You have more courage than I've ever had in my life.  Bro, I ain't gonna lie, it's going to take me a minute to be able to not feel uncomfortable about the Dooney & Burke, you carry around," I said, tenderly. 

He turned his head and smiled, "I told my mama, Etta-Mae, that you were always my favorite cousin, because you were the sweetest little boy," he said, squeezing my hand. 

His admission touched my heart.  "You really told her that, dude?" I asked glancing at him and then back at the road. 

"Bitch, didn't I just say that," he said smiling and giggling like a female. 

Damn, I really had my work cut out for me with this acceptance bit. 

We pulled into the parking stall of a local market just as that lime green Lexus did.  I froze.  I hoped they weren't about to pull a drive by on us in this parking lot.  Antwon saw the fear in my eye, and when he turned around, he saw why.   When the door opened and I saw that it was, Darrius, Peewee's younger brother and some other young brotha, the blood flow returned to normal in my veins. 

Antwon and me got out of the car, and went into the supermarket.  We were strolling down the aisles picking out the items moms had sent us to get, minding our own business.  I thought things would go off without a hitch, until I saw Darrius's little short stocky ass heading towards us. 

"Well, looky-looky who we got here, a homothug and a flaming queen.  So, what, you done gone and got yourself hitched, Marco," he asked, sarcastically, pinching me on the cheek.

I slapped his hand away and he pushed me up against the shelf, causing some of the items to fall from off the shelf.  When Antwon went towards him, he pulled out a .45 and pointed it in his face.  "What the fuck you think you gonna do, sugar dumpling?  I ought to make you bend over right in this store and get me some of that sweetness you like giving up to tha dick," he said, laughing in a sinister tone. 

"Darius, leave him alone he didn't do anything to you," I said, scared as hell. 

"Neither one of you faggots have done anything to me, I just wanted you to get a message to that coward ass nigga, Collin.  You tell him we ain't finished yet.  You let that motherfucker know that my big brother got a hit out on his ass and the same thing his mama got, is the same thing he's gonna get," he said, leering at me. 

"Darius, you are living fowl, nigga, you know Collin didn't steal shit from you," I said. 

" I know that, you know that, and Collin knows that, but hell, when you got a fine ass bitch like Denise, backing up your story, well hell, I ain't got to ever worry about my brother doubting me," was his response.  

"What the fuck does that whore have to do with any of this?" I asked, wondering just what the hell he meant. 

"She told my big brother that she was with me when she saw that nigga breaking into my brother's trunk, and stealing the shit out of there," he said, chuckling like the asshole he is. 

"How in the fuck can you let Collin take the fall for some dumb shit, Darrius? What has he ever done to you, huh?" I asked, getting angrier at Denise by the minute. 

"When Collin stole my girl from me, he crossed the line, Marco, so, I'm telling you about this right now.  You get this message to your boy, and tell him to grow some eyes in the back of his head -- hell, tell him to grow them motherfucka's out both sides of his head too, because he is being hunted," he said, lowering the gun out of Antwons face, and releasing his finger off of the trigger. 

He patted me on the check, and swatted Antwon on the ass and said, "See you later, you fruit-roll-up ass niggas,” In tow was the other youngster who was with him. 

"Collin is in some serious trouble, cuz," Antwon said, clutching his chest like he was covering some "tid-days". 

"Yea, I know, let's just get this shit and get back to the house.  I need to get in touch with Collin, fast.  I don't want him roaming the streets right now, they'll surely kill him if they find him," I said. 

I can't lose my friend, I just can't. 

Collin, you better be where you said you would be, or I'm going to be pissed as hell.  Antwon and I made it to the house, and I told him to keep this on the low because I didn't want to upset moms, and I sure as fuck didn't want Pops ass finding out because he would just throw a wrench in shit. 

Collin, I'm on my way.....